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August 2006 to April 2007 Gem City Rollergirl Roller Girl Boot Camp Day 1 I'm sore. I arrived at Skateworld Kettering a little too late to be suited up in full protective gear by 9pm. Already causing trouble... After a few laps around the rink, I was informed that my wheels are for the outdoors. Dammit! I had just switched them out an hour before. It's okay, though. I can continue to skate, the drill sargent says, his multiple lip and brow piercings twinkling at me in the orange light. I can continue to skate, that is, until one of my wheels falls the fuck off on lap four! And the bearings, and the spacer. Shit. Still causin' trouble... Luckily, my indoor wheels are inside my vintage red-white-and-black bowling (now roller derby) bag. The husband of "Seoul Sister" puts them on for me. But, I am skateless during warm-ups. We are called "Fucking New Girls", or FNG's for short. The coach barks commands and insults at us in a raspy booming voice. Same as in the military. I like it. It's drama, but it's hard core. We are punished with extra push-ups if we fuck up. I am assigned to the watchful training of my big sister, "Slay West". We are trained in knee falls: Skate at full speed, drop to one or both knees, and get up within 3 seconds without putting your hands on the floor. We are trained in skating posture: "Ass out, tits down!" We practice snaking in and out of a pack. Girls are crashing already. We are told to expect it. Frequently. My quad skating skills are serving me well, though. This is fun. Day 2 of Boot Camp starts on Thursday. I may need to ice my thighs... Roller Girl Boot Camp Day 2 It's on now, Motherfuckers! I won an award tonight at boot camp. I fell asleep last night with ice on my thigh. Stretched out three times today. Still sore, but passable. I arrived at Skateworld early enough to leisurely put on my knee pads, elbow pads, wrist guards, helmet, and tighten my laces two or three times. "Full Metal Coach" recognized me by my big wooden ego... From a performance I did at Pearl. Heh heh... Notoriety can be useful... I didn't need notoriety tonight, though. I had skills, Baby! I kept up with the other FNGs during
sprint drills even though my current skate bearings are shot. I also tied for first in the Fucking
New Girl division playing a game kinda like flag football on wheels. At the end of practice, my RG big sister, Flay, told me that she was impressed. She also told me in a very polite manner that more deodorant is better, because I stink. I suppose that's a form of notoriety too... Anyone wanna putt putt? Roller Girl Boot Camp Day 3 Damn, I'm exhausted. Boot camp week is over. Tuesday, I'll be evaluated on the skills I have learned thus far. It surprises me how much I want to excel at roller derby... I think about playing violin as a child; I think about getting my engineering degrees; I think about my old job on base. I wanted to be good at these things. But only because it's not in me to do poorly at anything I spend time on. That's why I quit my job. I was about to become a less than model employee. Roller derby is different. I am passionate about it. I want to become more than just good at it. I want to practice at it. I want to be the best. The thought of doing the same drills over and over is actually appealing to me. I want to have the gait of an olympic speed skater... I will have the gait of an olympic speed skater. Yesterday, my friend and ex-neighbor, Andrew Jenkins, came up with the perfect roller girl name for me: * Wong * Kong * Phooey * Hiiiii-ya! Karate chop yer ass! Now I'm really ready. Gem City Roller Girl in Training I made the team! Although, there is a 30-day probationary period: If I fail to improve on my derby skills or if I have problems getting along with the team, I'm out. An alternate universe Laurana would have to drug me and take my place at practices for either of these things to happen. I was initiated last Tuesday with some full force body checks during scrimmage time. Hits hard enough to make me grunt like a football player. The Gem City Roller Girls do bill themselves as the hardest hittin' league in Ohio. I got knocked to the floor twice. I took the first fall properly with no injury, but I forgot to get back up and continue playing the game... I was too busy laughing because it was so much fun getting jacked on wheels. The second fall was no fun. It occurred during my first attempt at the Jammer position: I sped around the track and managed to score 3 points by lapping everyone once and passing 3 more members of the opposing team. Then, I got heavily winded, continued to skate when I could've called off the Jam, and suddenly found myself sprawled out on the floor. I bruised my hand and my tailbone by landing on my ass. We are taught to fall forward. Falling backward is a dangerous no-no. I can see (and feel) why... I gotta increase my sprint stamina. I gotta work on my falls. I gotta maintain my awareness. I gotta continue being Hard Core! Fear is the Life Killer Roller derby is freaking me out a bit. My fear of getting physically hurt is surfacing hard core. Felt the fear before last practice simply because there was a chance we'd scrimmage. When we didn't, I was relieved. Felt the fear even more today while I was jamming. It almost kept me from approaching the pack to score. Fuck that. I've been dealing with my fear of getting emotionally hurt by keeping my heart open and accepting the consequences of doing so. With enough practice, my heart will never be broken again. I will be able to love truly and steadfastly without expecting to be loved back. I will do the same with my fear of getting physically hurt. I will stick with derby (I actually felt like quitting tonight). I will face my fear. I will play the game aggressively. I won't play it safe. With enough practice, my spirit will never be broken again. I will be able to take life by the reins, scream "Yeeeeeehawww!", and be unaffected in the here and now by the possibilities of the future. Wong Kong Phooey 
Wong Kong like to bash little rollergirls. Full Contact Musical Chairs (On Wheels)  Wong Kong Phooey vs. Fonda La Boom
Laurana Wong - - Wong Kong Phooey |
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